Inner Dialogue

This piece of writing just happened..in a few minutes..my mind was a blank and I just kept writing...

Q1) I need some answers what am I doing ? Where am I going?

Ans Just enjoy yourself..Be, Let go and live life to the fullest

Q2) Am I on track ?

Ans Right Ho, just on track dont fall off.

Q3) What can I do about my health ?

Ans Relax, chill go for a holiday and enjoy, forget, stop worrying about it things fall in place. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones and you will attract it.

Q6) Who are you ?

Ans guardian angel dear..

Q7) What should I do ?

Ans Yoga reiki the works all lead to me..Come child I ll take you lead you now..so keep your mind still..Stillness will speak to you.

Q8) Thanks for your guidance, Stay with me..I need important answers to stay on path or my life s in a constant state of confusion, ever tumultous emotions. I am like a ship on fire in a turbulent sea.

Ans ....No your fine, you just need perspective. Listen to your soul where it will go, go ..Lead ..ask it to lead. and you follow. You are more than this ..You deserve better and you have agreed to take it..Life holds many surprises in store so enjoy them as they come and be happy its not so boring and ordinary and normal as it was supposed to be if you followed the chart, the plan, the usual path....

9) On Friends...

You have so many ..other wordly and of this world. They come into your life in time to steer you to strengthen and make you happy so note their relevance...
Stay clear of useless people who malign who judge and who waste...

10) a-Heart...

It says open up ..let love in..express itself give in it will shower joy

b-What does my Chinese, Buddhist life signigy ? ( to give a background in this life I died of a heart attack..rich, fat and alone )

Ans Yah its heart again dear you failed to let in, open up so you need to do it now..Either Evolve or Perish it says..

c-Root... What do I do ?

Ans Stay Centred and fear not, Believe. We are there to protect and guide you no harm can come to you as long as you believe that no harm can come to you.

d-Love..Yes love yourself first then you reflect love always. You can shower love and be loving.

e-Create ..your destiny a new reality

f-2012... the change the transition is already happening

g-Dreams R had...are scary but they need not happen they are just fears in our collective consciousness working on our minds.

h-Global warming will destroy the earth..No its part of us we destroy everyday, no separation exists between us and the Earth.

11) Are we alone ?

How vain, how stupid after all this alone....
what question is this dear

Then some random stuff....

Take control of your life you are a strong and dynamic woman. Fulfill your dreams. There can be no end to achieving when you believe.

Start at :

- Self Love
- Forgive and let go
- Live life
- Be Happy
- Just be
Enjoy being and stop trying to do and tell others this too
- Get out of the rat race you arent a rat and you were never happy by achieving ranks and posts and great jobs and money.

Lessons to be learnt in this life

Patience, Self Love, Non judgemental, Weaning, Loving, Forgiveness, Tolerance, Humility, Search...Depth of self, True self and Enlightenment.

Thanks a lot..

You kiddo just stay put dont fall off. We re there even if you fall off ( chuckling )....

I am joyful and a treasure of joy and fear cannot touch me ..I am just a beam of energy,my Body is but a reflection not a reality.I shine brightly always so just know we are there.

Who is this ?

Ans We, myself, my, mine Yes we are all one...just a split in the personality dear..confused ..no..we dont want to confuse......

My war with myself

It s better to live your destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life perfectly- The Bhagavad Gita

The other morning I woke up with a profound and deep thought...'' I ve lived all my life on rules set by others-parents, society and have I been happy ?'' No not yet. So its time I started questioning all that I ve lived by.

Moral Codes- still stuck in them
Religion- I have already discarded
Prejudice-Trying to identify and drop them

The last year I have been a sponge, absorbed all that I could reading books, attending workshops and having interesting discussions with friends.
Now I have reached a stage where I have started questioning like a child for I am still a child where spirituality is concerned.
Living by others rules and arguing it out internally with what the little voice inside told me, was a constant war. I have been at war. Rules always won the battle till I was 25 years.The little voice was always low so it stood no chance anyway. Life took a sharp turn and then something snapped inside me and i stopped analysing and going by rules. Not sure where its leading me.
But Spirituality is not an easy path, has never been an easy one for anyone. It will consume me I am sure. Its better than living like a hypocrite, smiling on the outside and hurting inside.
I have become more vocal. I lose my temper more easily . Not that , this is good. I think its better than seething inside , not expressing, repressing and falling ill.

My neck has become worse. Its stiff and painful. My stomach wont accept any spicy, oily food. This forces me to eat like an ascetic and practise Yoga.

I cannot see myself fit into any so called ideal roles..ideal mother, ideal wife...ideal citizen. Roles I was trained to enact the first 25 years of my life.
What a disappointment I ve turned out for everyone...makes we want to laugh and cry at once..
Its not easy to let go of ego-so much went into building it..words unsaid, feelings repressed, moments lost, being a rat in the rat race. I have to discard my ego..its always been too strong for my own good.

Life has dealt me blows everytime I lost touch with my inner voice. Everytime I've lost track spirituality brings me back. Maybe I have the greatest teacher ' Life Itself '. Events unfold with amazing synchronicity. No, I dont call them coincidence anymore. I dont need evidence ..it's so well planned and laid out. The wisdom and intelligence behind all this is so obviously great that
I 'd be a fool not to acknowledge it. I dont want to cage this immense infinite power by calling it any names.

I ve decided to stop analysing and letting go, let events unfold and go with the flow. Stop fighting what is obvious. In the past everytime I fought I fell greiviously ill.
I ve gone through stages where I thought God was punishing me..(sounds ridiculous now) originating from my Christian roots where you thing God is to be feared..hence strict moral rules.
No I never stopped falling ill..so I thought my belief system made no sense as I was sticking by all the rules.
Next time I fell ill I blamed it on my high paying, high stress job. Now this sounds more practical maybe closer to the truth.
Now i think, everytime I stop listening to mybody and my inner voice, I fall ill. When the body, mind and soul lose their alignment illness manifests to set right this misalignment. Yoga taught me to keep this alignment in place.

Health is the foundation without which you can't reach spiritual heights. Now I need to get back into health, release all mental and physical blocks as I have a long path to tread and the path is precarious. If I can't preserve this body I will have to take ennumerable births to reach my zenith.